At Love Intently we believe the following to hold true to the core of who we are and the core of all relationships.
We believe in faith over fear (what we call emotional capital), positivity over negativity (Gottman’s 5 to 1 theory), and believe in the power of the Zero Negativity movement created by Harville and Helen Hendrix.
We believe in doing the work only you can do because your partner can’t do it for you.
We believe every piece of conflict is a place to grow closer together and a place for healing.
We believe in kindness and friendship, always.
We believe redemption and restoration is always available.
We believe in battling the loneliness epidemic by making ourselves and our partners feel less alone.
We believe in an open channel of communication that includes laughter, apologies and honesty
Great relationships don’t just happen. We create them intently.
We believe all of this because we haven’t spent years trying to better understand relationships and what makes them work. Society expects you to go to school to learn how to be a great doctor, teacher, lawyer, or engineer. However, when it comes to relationships, the most important part of our lives (trust us) we’re supposed to just figure it out? We believe that’s bogus.
We don’t have it all figured out but we have spent months and years talking to experts & psychiatrists, researching by asking tough questions and talking to real couples. Our mission became finding out what makes relationships work and how we can help people love more intently.
Here’s what we found to be some of the leading research:
Nathan C. Popkins of Northwestern University examines the five-factor model and how this affects individuals as a whole. The quality of the model he researcehs is then evaluated based on five criteria: compatibility, originality, application, taxonomy, and universality.
Leading experts Dr. John Gottman, Dr. Sue Johnson, Dr. Lisa Neff and more conclude over and over again that healthy relationships lead to healthier people both mentally and physically. Gottman the nation’s foremost marriage researcher, found that couples in healthy relationships are highly emotionally intelligent. These Healthy couples respond to 86% of one another’s attempts to connect with one another, while those who get divorced only responded to 33% of one another’s attempts. View his study here.
Dr. Sue Johnson, the creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy (the most successful method of couple's therapy), found that healthy relationships require a healthy emotional connection, wherein both partners are emotionally accessible, responsive, and engaged. She teaches that these key traits are predictive of long-term marital satisfaction and can revitalize distressed couples, too.
In this Harvard study of almost 80 years old, it has proved that embracing community helps us live longer, and be happier. In short, relationships and people are better for our health. They rank above genetics and above other health affects.