Love Intently

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Can Couples Change the World, Stay in Love and Raise a Healthy Family? with Authors of Love and Work, Jeff and André Shinabarger

Sophie Kwok

Love Intently Podcast Episode 55

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Jeff and André Shinabarger are on a mission to help couples balance pursuing their individual purposeful work, keeping their relationship and love intact, and spending quality time with their kids. Together, they’ve written a book called “Love or Work: Is It Possible to Change the World, Stay in Love, and Raise a Healthy Family?” They believe it is, and they are living proof!

Jeff Shinabarger is a bestselling author and founder of Plywood People, a non-profit in Atlanta leading a community of start-ups doing good. His work has been featured by Forbes, Inc., CNN, USA Weekend and Huffington Post. He is the co-founder of Q, mentored over 600 start-ups and created the largest social entrepreneur event in the South called Plywood Presents.

André Shinabarger is an adventurer who loves seeing the world. Born in Bolivia, she has a deep passion for building community with marginalized people groups. She works for Grady Memorial Hospital in Atlanta as a Physician Assistant and is an adjunct professor for Emory University. She is an Advisor to Plywood People and Host of the Love or Work Podcast.

We had a value-packed conversation around how couples can be more intentional about balancing work, family and love, especially now during the pandemic. André also opens up about her personal journey from growing up in a conservative household where there was shame around sex, to then having to navigate sex and pleasure in her marriage.

In this episode of Love Intently, we dive into:

  • How they met and fell in love

  • How their personal journey through the ups and downs of 18 years of marriage, raising kids, and pursuing their individual purposes informed their book

  • How their biggest fight one year after adopting their daughter strengthened their relationship and taught them valuable lessons

“It was this reality that, we were not in that year living a life of partnership. It wasn't that I didn't love her. It wasn't any of that stuff, but I had to make changes and live a different way, in partnership together.” -Jeff

  • Jeff and André’s advice for couples navigating being stuck home due to the pandemic, and maintaining their love and continuing to pursue their purposes

  • What is Jeff and André’s “four four four principle” and how does it help deepen their presence together as a couple as well as their individual self care?

  • Jeff’s journey with anxiety, particularly navigating this as a man in a society where most self care practices are targeted at women, and building habits to better manage his anxiety

“Understanding that if I am not in a healthy place as the leader of the organization, the organization will not be in a healthy place.” -Jeff

  • Today’s challenge of fully unplugging from work and what couples can do to really support each other’s purposes

  • André’s personal experience connecting to her sexual self after growing up in a conservative, religious family and feeling disconnected from her sexual self, and how she’s been communicating with her pre-teen daughter about sexuality

“We are in a regular, open, constant conversation about sex. Whatever the next question is in her next developmental phase, however, she's processing it, we're talking about it. And we're also talking about her body and how great her body is and how good it is and how beautiful it is. No matter what size or shape. “ -André

Jeff and André’s Three Love Truths

Source: http://instagram.com/loveorwork

  1. If we change the world and lose our family, we lose

  2. Mantra: same team

  3. It's not an adventure until something goes wrong

Jeff and André’s Relationship Advice

“Don't take the advice of all these other people…like actually be in conversation with the person you love and ask them what they want.” -André

What does Love Intently mean to you?

“Love is not going to just happen. So if you're not intentional about it, good luck. It's a choice. And it's an intentional decision that you make every day.” -André

Connect with and Support Jeff and André Shinabarger

Website: https://www.loveorwork.com/ and https://www.plywoodpeople.com/

Instagram: http://instagram.com/loveorwork and https://www.instagram.com/plywoodpeople/

Podcast: https://www.loveorwork.com/podcast

Book: Love or Work: Is it possible to change the world, stay in love, and raise a healthy family?

Connect with Sophie and Love Intently

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