You came to Love Intently to better understand how to love your partner and we’re happy to help guide you on that journey! Part of that journey is helping you figure out how to have, what I like to call, “The Talk”. Now, I’m not talking about the anatomy lesson you have with your children, rather another important but easy-to-avoid conversation that couples need to have. I’m talking about your family finance talk…

How would you rate your ability to communicate with your partner about finances? Would they say the same? Take it one step further: do you make your partner feel loved by your financial decisions and the way you navigate them? As a financial planner, I see the struggles that arise from family finances every day in my practice. I see:

1.       A lack of practical understanding on how to manage the family’s finances, or the “science” of it, and

2.       An inability to effectively communicate about family finances because we don’t understand the psychology of it

Nobody is immune to these struggles but I want to help you by giving you a framework to use to handle the family finance talk to that you can ultimately honor and love your partner better with your finances.

I don’t believe money is the most important thing in life, but I do recognize the significant impact is has on our lives. I’m passionate about helping people be good stewards of their financial resources so that finance doesn’t become a point of contention in their relationship. To do that, it takes an understanding of both the science of family finance and the psychology of it. When these two come together, a beautiful combination of financial success and closeness with your partner can be achieved.   

This is the first part of a series of articles aimed at helping you better manage your family finances and to love your partner while doing it. On this journey, we are going to discuss:

The science of family finance

• Cash Planning
• Debt Management
• Risk Management
• Goal Planning
• Investing for your future

 The Psychology of family finances

• How to better understand your partner’s view on through finances
• Given that, how to tailor the way you communicate with them
• Ideas on how to love your partner through finances

Stay tuned for subsequent articles that will delve into these areas. For now, let’s start with the WHY behind all this:

Why have the talk:

Let me start by acknowledging that personal finance can be tough. To be honest, my wife and I still struggle staying consistent in these areas too! IT can get messy and disagreements will inevitably arise. That may lead you to ask “why should I even have ‘the talk’ since it can easily become combative”? Simply put, it’s worth it for the health and strength of your relationship and for your family’s financial future. “The Talk” is a pre-requisite to both understanding your partner at a deeper level and to making long-term financial success.

Life is stressful enough, and when you add financial stress to the mix, it makes sense why money and finances are one of the leading contributors to divorce in America. So, if you want to keep your partner, it’ll behoove you to dig into this topic, together.

The great news is this problem is avoidable because family finances is as much a behavioral exercise as it is a science. In my practice, I’ve seen that it’s not the highest salary that makes the strongest financial plan, but the habits and dedication of the parties involved. It’s the couples that are able to communicate and work together that makes the most progress. But most people don’t know how to communicate about finances with their partner. That gets us to why you’re here. We’re happy to have you on this journey so stick around and let’s grow together.

I’ll leave you with this simple exercise:

Ask yourself if you consider yourself a “spender” or “saver”. Then, ask your partner what they think you are and if those answer match.

Written by Justin Rodriguez

Justin is a financial planner born and raised in Phoenix, AZ. Justin’s passion lies at the intersection of personal finance and people. He works alongside individuals and families to help them make prudent financial decisions so that they can have peace about their finances and become truly financially independent. He's happily married to his wife Allison