Love Intently Podcast Episode 47

A Stanford study came out in August 2019 that said 1 in 3 people are finding relationships online and staying in relationships from the ones they found online. And, 80% of people on Bumble are on there to find meaningful relationships. Times have really changed! But how do we maintain human connection, learn to communicate effectively, and love intently in this algorithm driven world?

I realized how important relationships were when I became aware of how my lack of knowledge about what healthy relationships look like was impacting me in every area of my life- romantic relationships, family, friendships, and business. That’s why I’m so passionate about empowering others to have healthy relationships and to love and live intently! And I am SO excited to introduce our next guest, Chelsea Cain Maclin, Vice President of Marketing at Bumble. In this episode of the Love Intently Podcast, we talk about how Chelsea ended up working for Bumble, how she met and fell in love with her husband (and no- it wasn’t through Bumble, it didn’t exist yet!). She shares with us some tips for creating your profile based on analysis of their users, and tells us what she wishes she knew sooner in regards to relationships and marriage. She shares more about Bumble’s other services such as BumbleBFF and BumbleBizz and how women can use these services to advance their careers and make meaningful friendships. Bumble has lots of exciting initiatives and events upcoming, so tune in to hear all about it and more!

What compelled you to join the Bumble team?

Chelsea says that the mission of Bumble really inspired her- their north star of ending misogyny aligned very much with her core values. Everything Bumble is doing is meant to help people find equitable, healthy, and safe relationships.

How did you meet your current partner, and how did you fall in love?

Chelsea and her now husband met in college, but they didn’t date in college (and shhh-Chelsea says she didn’t even like him much in college LOL…sound familiar?). But they were meant to be star-crossed lovers and the timing aligned a couple years after college. He asked her out for a YEAR! And after he gave up, she made the move and reached out. Since then, they’ve been inseparable! They have a one year old son together, and Chelsea appreciates how much her husband supports her work life and is a feminist.

“I very much believe that feminism is a vehicle for inclusion and should be empowering to everyone.” -Chelsea Cain Maclin

What changed and made you want to make the first move?

Chelsea’s friends were encouraging her to date new types of people since she had been dating…not the greatest guys in the past. So, she took the risk and went for a different type of guy. There was no Bumble at the time to help!!

Based on everything Bumble has seen in their users, what are some things people can do to set them up for success in online the dating world?

Chelsea tells us how recently, a Stanford study came out that said 1 in 3 people are finding relationships online and staying in relationships from the ones they found online. From their own research at Bumble, they know that 80% of people on Bumble are on there to find meaningful relationships. So, it really has become the mainstream to find your forever online! These are some quick tips Chelsea gives us to make sure your profile is true-love ready:

1. Use photos of your real self! No sunglasses, crazy filters or large groups of people

2. Talk about your passions and interests in your bio. Put questions in your bio that helps who you match with be able to make meaningful conversation

3. Bumble has always been all about taking the risk and making the first move—and now with the new Moves Making Impact initiative, you can pick a cause to support another woman in need: human rights, public policy or economic development. Bumble then donates to women making a difference in their community!

What do you wish you knew sooner in your relationship or marriage?

Chelsea wishes she knew that conflict is normal and healthy. Your tolerance for conflict is dictated by your family history and the way conflict was dealt with growing up. Chelsea gives us her personal example and explains that her husband is comfortable with external conflict and arguing in public, because that’s what he grew up with. However, Chelsea’s family kept conflict very much in the home. So, they had to learn to communicate with each other and meet in the middle.

“No matter who you’re dating or in a relationship with, chances are you have totally different backgrounds and expectations of what your relationship should and will look like. I wish I knew at the beginning of our relationship that conflict is a healthy thing in order to grow, but you’re going to have to find the type of conflict that works for you both.” -Chelsea Cain Maclin

Now, her and her husband use code words. If he’s making her uncomfortable and starting an argument in public, she’ll use her code word and they’ll take the conflict home, or she’s doing something that makes him uncomfortable he’ll use his code word.

I can totally relate to Chelsea on this- my family never handled conflict openly growing up and I became very avoidant of conflict. I remember hearing from Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D, authors of “Getting the Love you Want: A Guide for Couples”, and internationally known couples’ therapists, said that the best people to work with are the ones that are fighting, and the worst ones to work with are the ones who are not fighting and not willing to talk about things.

Looking back on your journey thus far in your relationship and professional career, are there three truths you wish every person could hear?

Inspired by Cleo Wade, an artist, poet, and author of HEART TALK, Chelsea says, “To find love, be fearless, to keep love, be selfless, to make your love deeper, be both.”

Chelsea also shares a Harvard Study which discovered that the health of your relationship is the indicator for your happiness and longevity. It had nothing to do with fame, success, IQ, socioeconomic status, or genes. The People who lived the longest and were happiest had healthy relationships in work, family, relationships, friendships!

Chelsea says this is another aspect she really loves about working for Bumble, is that they are all about human connection.

How can people make their next move in their careers through Bumble Bizz?

Chelsea says it’s important, especially for women, to ask for what you want.

“You can’t access or manifest what you want your career to be if you don’t make the first move, get uncomfortable, take the chance, and ask. So many times, the career pivots and opportunities in my own professional history have been based on when I’ve said ok, this is gonna be uncomfortable but I’m gonna take the risk and ask someone to connect me to this organization that I find really inspiring.” -Chelsea Cain Maclin

She says it is also so much about the give and take of networking:

“Networking to me is very much a give and take. Helping someone else succeed is not only the right thing to do, but will help you in your professional development.” -Chelsea Cain Maclin

Chelsea goes on a Bumble Bizz date once or twice a month to share and connect with other women. She says it’s important to have that “others first” mindset, alongside asking for what you really want. It’s really hard for women asking for what they want.

Listen to the full episode above for Chelsea’s advice on how to ask for what you want, and how she determines who she will and won’t go on a Bumble Bizz date with! Chelsea also tells us how the things that make her feel loved have really changed over the years, especially since becoming a mom. Also, don’t miss out on Chelsea’s best relationship advice!

What does love or love intently mean to you?

“Loving intently is about choice. Going out of your way to make the sacrifice, or have the fight you didn’t want to have, the sleep you needed but didn’t get, for someone else.” -Chelsea Cain Maclin

Where can we find and support you?

You can find Chelsea on Bumble Bizz, or on her personal Instagram: @chelseacainmaclin

Or any of the Bumble Instagram accounts: @bumble, @bumbleBFF, or @bumbleBIZZ

What are you currently working on and most excited for?

Currently Chelsea is most excited for some programs Bumble is launching for Bumble BFF around health and wellness, and also some Diversity and Inclusion initiatives for Bumble Bizz. Also, Bumble will implement a “request photo verification” feature to avoid cat fishing, and they are continuing to release features that will make the ecosystem as safe and wonderful as possible!

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