For Better or For Much Worse: Love, Recession and Divorce with BB Imaging Co-Founders Ben and Blanca
Love Intently Podcast Episode 50
“If I’m gonna share my story I do have to share the fact that it has been rough.” -Blanca Lesmes, Co-Founder & CEO of BB Imaging
Don’t ya just hate it when you go on Instagram and become anxious and depressed over how perfect everyones lives and businesses seem to be going?! We don’t often get to see the things that happen behind closed doors- the financial stress, the loneliness, the tears.
Blanca and Ben are not shy about sharing the darker moments of their entrepreneurial journey which include the devastating impacts of the 2009 recession that almost put their house into foreclosure, and eventually led to their divorce after being together since high school (but continuing to run the business together!).
Blanca, who always considered herself as someone who can do anything she set her mind to, was suddenly experiencing failure after failure. But, in an inspiring act of courage, she doubled down and invested in herself and used this time to become more self-aware. Similarly, Ben realized through this process how much growing he had to do and continued learning from counseling and spiritual guidance.
Today, they are re-married, going on multiple date nights a week, and their business BB Imaging is back on track! In this episode, hear all the highs and REALLY low lows of Ben and Blanca’s journey to how they got to where they are today, and all the lessons they’ve learned along the way about self-awareness, embracing the imperfections of ourselves and others, and growing up. It ain’t perfect but it’s REAL!
“There’s 5 levels of a relationship. The 4th level is conflict. Most people don’t get past that level of conflict..but what they don’t tell you, is if you do, on the other side is intimacy.” -Ben Buentipo
“I think time with the people you love the most matters more than anything else. More than business success, or financial success. Maximizing time with the people you love is what you should be focused on." -Blanca Lesmes
Blanca Lesmes is the Co-Founder and CEO of BB Imaging, and Ben Buentipo is the Co-Founder and COO. BB Imaging offers comprehensive ultrasound solutions and consulting. Their mission is to make great healthcare more accessible to women, no matter the size of their wallet or location.
How did you meet each other and fall in love?
Blanca and Ben met in high school when they were 14 years old
First, my favorite question…we chat about how Ben and Blanca met each other. They met in freshman year of high school and became good friends, always enjoying each other’s company. They didn’t actually start dating until senior year of high school, which they also had to keep a secret because Blanca’s parents were very conservative Latino!
Blanca was immediately attracted to Ben’s family values and how his family was super tight nit. She didn’t have that growing up, in her household the family kept mostly to themselves. Blanca craved that moment where the whole family is sitting together on the couch sharing quality time. Ben was also super loving and respectful towards his mother, and you know the saying, “A man will treat his wife the way he treats his mother!” or something like that:P
From Ben’s perspective, he just had so much fun doing so many different activities with Blanca. He thought she had a great sense of humor, was smart, pretty, consistent, and genuine. It was just easy.
What is BB Imaging all about and what was the journey behind starting this company?
Blanca always saw herself having a business of her own someday, after learning the value of hard work from her parents who had a restaurant. Blanca started out in the non-profit world in a domestic violence agency outside of Dallas. It was very formative for her to witness the challenging situations for women and children and she wanted to find a way to help more women get access to the quality healthcare they deserve.
Through partnerships, BB Imaging reaches women who are sick or have really sick babies and live far out in rural areas, who are in need of ultrasound services.
She feels strongly that it is a calling, given that she has the answer and solution to fix the problem.
For Ben, he really wanted to find a way that they could apply their skillsets and have more time for themselves without sacrificing their standard of living.
What were the highs and lows along this journey to where you are today?
Blanca believes strongly that we should be acknowledging more how much entrepreneurship just..really sucks sometimes! (can I get an amen?!) instead of only talking about the rosey aspects of it on social media.
“I think it’s a disservice to other women who are running an organization and they’re struggling. You’re just comparing yourself against a standard that is completely false.” -Blanca Lesmes
The initial start up of the business was pretty straightforward, things were going well, but then the recession of 2009 hit, and things got really tough really fast. Their house was about to be foreclosed on, they emptied out life insurance policies and 401Ks, anything they had to throw back into the business to keep it afloat. All the financial pressure ultimately led to Blanca and Ben’s divorce.
As anyone with children who has gone through a divorce or is considering a divorce, you know it’s an extremely difficult decision to make when thinking about the impact it will have on the children. Carrying the burden of all this, Blanca still had to show up to work every day and “rally the troops” as the CEO and tell everyone we’re going to get through this, when deep down she wasn’t sure if they actually would.
Ben mentions how difficult it was to not be able to pay their employees and knowing that they too had children to support.
Blanca always felt she was someone who could do anything she set her mind to, but her marriage failed, her business was failing, she was lonely, and depressed. Ben also realized that you always hear how difficult marriage can sometimes be, but they never tell you how and when these difficult situations will occur.
A time for growth
With “nothing left to lose”, Blanca used this alone time as an opportunity for growth and invested in graduate school for business. Since she had been with her husband since her teenage years, she never got that chance in her 20’s to really explore who Blanca is by herself, or to date other people.
“The only thing I could bank on was myself. It was the first time it’s the grown up me. I realized there’s no one to blame if I didn’t do my own thing. I couldn’t blame my husband because he’s not there anymore. I couldn’t blame my parents because I’m an adult now. It really was about holding the mirror and getting a real look at what I was bringing to the table.” -Blanca Lesmes
While in business school, she met another business partner, and together, along with Ben (still divorced though), they worked over several years to turn the company around.
At the same time, Ben was investing in his personal growth as well, by going to counseling and exploring his spirituality. He realized that he was still quite immature and had a lot of growing up to do.
Somewhere along the line, Ben and Blanca reconnected on a personal level over coffee, and decided to start dating again. They dated for 6 months, and got re-married as two whole and grown up individuals!
There’s no such thing as perfect
The wisest advice Blanca and Ben recall receiving is from Blanca’s father when she told him her and Ben were dating again. He told her that there is no such thing as a perfect person. Blanca realized that she is imperfect so it’s unfair of her to expect Ben to be perfect.
“That’s the key, for our relationship to work better, is that I have to be gentle with him. I cannot be constantly on him about something that is not perfect. Because he’s not perfect and neither am I” -Blanca Lesmes
Blanca and I have an awesome discussion about learning to embrace your imperfections and to know that there are good and bad sides to each trait. Blanca’s perfectionism is the thing that makes her company deliver such high-quality service and help so many people, but it’s also the thing that can destroy her relationships.
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable
Ben learned the importance of being able to let your guard down and be vulnerable. He was afraid to admit that he feels like a failure, but once he opened up about this, him and Blanca were able to have a real conversation and understand better where each other was coming from.
“Even if we didn’t come to a solution, just understanding each others’ feelings is so important.” -Ben Buentipo
More in this episode
Some other things we touch on in this episode are what was it that made Blanca reach out to Ben to reconnect over coffee, what her dating experience was while she was taking that time between marriages and how she became more self-aware through the process, what she is still working on now personally, and how her and Ben are intentional in their relationship, what she wishes she could tell her younger self, and what three pieces of advice she would leave for the world.
With Ben, we also talk about what type of support men in general really need in a relationship, and what type of support women need, and how him and Blanca have done this for each other in practice.
“Find your tribe. Find what makes you feel loved and held. Just be in a place where you can be you and with people that love you. That’s the most important thing on the planet.” -Blanca Lesmes
“It’s important to talk about emotions in relationships..the more that we can, the more we’ll be able to connect on so many other levels.” -Ben Buentipo
Connect with Blanca & Ben and BB Imaging
For ultrasound services and consulting: http://www.bbimaging.net/
Connect with Sophie and Love Intently
Take the Find Your Attachment Style Quiz to learn about your love language and attachment style to strengthen your relationship and love with intention.
Follow @love.intently on Instagram
Follow @sophkwok on Instagram
Subscribe to the weekly podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or Spotify