How to Love Who You Are During Conflict

About Sophie:

Sophie is the Founder of Love Intently. She is also a relationship coach who is passionate about empowering people build thriving relationships with themselves and everyone around them. In a world of big engagements and comparison, Love Intently stands to remind us love doesn't need to be a production. The everyday little mundane things matter most. Whether it's a parent-child relationship or a romantic one, start small.

Why Self-Love During Conflict?

Conflict resolution comes up quite frequently with my clients. I have wanted to do an episode on this for a while and I am very excited to share my ideas on loving in and through conflict. For so long it was something I was so terrified to do and be around. I hated being triggered. I didn’t like who I was in conflict. What’s been really incredible is that throughout the years I have learned to love who I am in conflict. That’s why episode 82 of the Love Intently Podcast is a solo episode about conflict resolution and 10 things that are huge for me when it comes to loving myself through conflict!

In this episode of the Love Intently Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of having a strong connected relationship and actionable steps you can take right now to love who you are in conflict. I will share 10 things that I have learned to do that have helped me personally, with examples we can all relate to.

In this episode I discussed:

  • Why you need to learn to love yourself in conflict, and why ignoring it is not the answer to your feelings of discomfort.

  • Why it’s important to understand your body and take cues from your body as to how you feel and why learning the early signs is so crucial to discovering your window of tolerance.

  • How you can look at conflict as an opportunity for growth instead of a negative thing that you must avoid at all costs.

  • When we are avoiding conflict, we are actually avoiding short term discomfort for long term dysfunction. 

  • The incredible shift from judgement or defensiveness to curiosity in times of conflict for a healthier conversation.

  • Understanding and expanding your window of tolerance over time to better understand your own triggers and bodily response. 

  • The importance of taking responsibility for your half of the relationship instead of blaming the other person for the conflict on the table.

  • Why it is not you against the other person, but rather it’s the conflict against the people involved, and how this made a massive shift in my own life with my relationship with my parents.