Surviving Long Distance and Immigration, True Lovespiration from Brittany and Matty
Of all of the love stories our team has heard Brittany and Matty’s is definitely one that stands out. Picture this, Australian hottie (her words not ours) spots beautiful Texan in a mutual friends party pictures. Decides he needs to meet her, the day he flys in from Australia in she is leaving the next day to move to Austin. They go on their first date the morning she leaves NYC....and well you'll just have to read on to see what they have to say. They eliminate any excuse as to why a couple can't figure it out if they truly want to make their love work. Both Brittany and Matty not only share their love with one another, but they also are both passionate about doing things they love. They strive to inspire, create and always share all of their delights with others.
1. How did you make your long distance relationship work?
Matty: You need to be just really creative. You can’t think it’s a normal relationship because it’s not. Since we didn’t know each other beforehand, we basically started the basis of our relationship or friendship in long distance. From the very get-go, that’s all we knew. It seemed normal at the start, it was a very fluid thing. It helped for me knowing what I was going into, like okay this girl is moving away and I know it’s going to be difficult. I’d been to Texas once, I didn’t know what her world was. I just knew that I needed to get to know her, through text message, through calling. You have to be flexible on how you communicate.
Brittany: We had to set those standards for communication. Since I knew that this was going to be something that would mean something to me, I think I was more willing to change and kind of let myself develop around what worked for him. We would do things like set up Skype dates and make them like real dates. We’d have dinner together or I’d try to do special things. I think one of the best things that worked for us was having something to look forward to. We would pretty much see each other every month until the very end. We didn’t have the means for that but somehow it worked out. We would live for those moments. Every time we would see each other our relationship would progress.
2. What were special little things that you would do for each other when you were apart?
Matty: I remember when she went overseas for a little bit, and I had organized with one of her coworkers that I was going to get flowers ordered to your place at work. I think with long distance you have to push past the awkwardness of being cheesy.
Brittany: One thing that I did was I wrote letters about the way I felt before I could say it to him. I was falling in love with him but I didn’t want to say it until we were in person. So I held on to those, and it was pretty cool when he told me he loved me I gave him them. That really helped me because I was starting to feel these emotions but I couldn’t really express it without being close to him. Writing little notes to give to him later was really meaningful for us.
3. How did you know this was something worth pursuing?
Matty: I think from a faith stand point, I think it was God’s way of preparing me to do it. How I recognized Britt is that I saw a photo from a party and didn’t know she was there until 2-3 weeks later. Something switched in me that was like “I need to talk to this girl, I need to find out about her”. Then I found out she was moving to Texas and I kind of explain the feeling that something was in me telling me to just go for it. A confidence in me knew that I needed to pursue it. I think that was just God telling me that it’s okay, I’ve got this. Since I didn’t know her beforehand, I thought, what do I have to lose.
Brittany: I was at the point in my life where I was in a drought for a little bit. I had gotten over this on and off relationship that had brought some things to the surface for me. Going through this healing process, Matty had come along right at the end of it. I was feeling really proud of where I was in my life, then Matty comes along and I thought maybe everything was going to happen all at once. I thought, you know what, I’m totally going to be myself this time and it worked. He kept intriguing me. From the very beginning he told me I was beautiful and what his intentions were. He basically said he wanted to get to know me and see what happens.
4. How did you two start talking about and navigating through money as a couple?
Brittany: I set him down after we were engaged and told him hey this is what you’re stepping into, this is how much debt I have form student loans and credit cards. I could tell that the numbers didn’t really make sense to him. It’s interesting that people are asking about that because it is a huge part of your relationship. I don’t like to make financial decisions without him. I think it’s a place we’ve grown in but still can grow more in.
Matty: As soon as I asked her to marry me, that debt became my debt. Whatever she was dealing with, I was going to deal with that with her. She’s better with money because I’m not that good with numbers. Another thing I would say is talk to your parents about it because they’ve probably done the same things you have in terms of money. We were lucky enough that our parents have kind of had the same sort of financial history. Learning from those who have kind of done the whole thing makes it easier to know what to buy and what not to buy.
5. What is something you wish you knew before you first started dating or got married?
Brittany: I was very independent before Matty, so I had to learn to let him be a part of my life in a very big way. I loved to make breakfast for myself, I really looked forward to it. Then Matty comes along and makes breakfast for me. I think just being willing to let him do the things that showed his love and let me receive it.
Matty: I think people think they know what other people like. Love language is different for every single person, and it doesn’t even matter if you do or don’t believe in faith. I wish I would have known more about the love language more and how to receive it. We had to navigate through how each other were and what our lives were.
6. What are your passion projects?
Matty: A lot of my passion projects are my career. Within that there are side pockets of things I want to do. I’m more inspired with what I want to do through photographs and wanting to create more. There’s a photographer called Peter Linburg and he praised for how he portrays women; it’s very natural, it’s very beautiful, he doesn’t touch them up to make them look perfect. Basically my goal is I want to be able to represent men in a way that is masculine but so much honesty in that. I think that men have been such a target for being in this hierarchy, but there are so many good men out there who are great husbands and great fathers. I think that whatever age men are, there is a great honesty in them and that’s what I want to portray in my own photographs.
Brittany: I have my blog. A lot of it was always to cultivate who I am as a writer and just kind of share things that I love. I think that my place there is authenticity as well, and not being the typical blogger/writer. If I ever did sponsorships it would be in a totally different way. My biggest goal there is just to invite people into a really authentic story, and that’s just me being honest. It’s also been a place for me to creatively express myself and learn about all the things that I’m interested in.
7. What is something you wish you did more together?
Matty: Go adventure more. Since moving to LA, we’ve gone on a few hikes and we’ve realized that we have really good conversations on these hikes. There’s something about changing your routine or doing something different that kind of creates a new opportunity for closeness. That’s something that I wish we could do more often.
Brittany: I would say travel. We seem to have deeper conversations when we are doing other things. It’s definitely good for us to get out. I think if we had the means, we would travel so much more.
8. What are some of your favorite things about each other?
Brittany: His honesty with me and the way he always says what he’s thinking about me. I love when he gets silly. I can be really weird, but I never felt like I had to shield that from him. Just having the freedom to be able to express myself around him.
Matty: I was first attracted to her creativeness. Seeing someone passionate about something is always attractive. I discovered that she was more creative than not just one area but in so many other things. There’s something so attractive about passion. I could easily go down the physical road but beauty fades on the outside. And her love for her family. I’m very close to my family and sometimes it’s very rare to find someone who has the same family values. That was something that I was instantly attracted to. If you have that behind you, then they have a good foundation.
9. What advice would you have for someone who is scared to get into a relationship?
Brittany: I think people are scared because they’re afraid of change and aren’t going to like it. But the thing is, you’re going to like it so much, and the other person is going to help you develop so much. If change is what is holding you back, vulnerability is scary but it’s so worth it and you will be a better person if you’re open to everything a relationship can bring you.
Matty: Definitely going into a relationship, I think you need to be smart about it. You can’t just pick any type of person; you have to have some sort of wisdom and maturity about it. No matter what your past is I think you need to be willing to go for it.
10. What advice do you have for single people that you wish you would have heard when you were single?
Brittany: The thing that encouraged me the most, is that I believe that when God makes a decision, it’s instant. I always felt like when he says it’s time, then it’s time. That always comforted me, because life changes in an instant. I reminded myself how quickly things can shift. Basically from age 18 to 28 I was kind of waiting for this to happen.
Matty: I think just don’t rush it. When it happens it happens. Just continue doing what you’re doing. Nothing ever comes good with striving with your own strength. If you instantly go out and find someone, it could be the worst thing for you. I think just taking the pressure off and letting yourself live life, and then everything always falls into place someway, somehow. Just take your time.
11. What is the best relationship advice you’ve ever received?
Matty: There’s so many things my parents and grandparents have said to me. Love first. In that I mean, so many times in a relationship where there are times you can get into a fight or they say something and you don’t agree. The best advice you can give to someone is to just be patient. Don’t let every single thing tick you off. If you get into a fight realize that you don’t have to fix it straight away. Don’t be so quick to put that person down or think that you’re the better person.
Brittany: We used to argue but now we argue better. I think love first is such good advice because I’ve seen it make the difference in the way we communicate. It shifts your perspective.